Disruptina

The Feline Ghost

2009-02-24T00:50:00.000-08:00

Like a blow of air
She came by,
She cast a spell
I lost my stride
Her entrancing steps…
Made me wonder if I imagine all right
I was enchanted
Her mystique stung me aside

I knew I should
Take no steps
For I might lose my mind
But then there was a gush
And I fell prey to her smile
She called
I lost track
There was an aroma of the Wild

I tried to drift apart
But was held captive
Enamored by her flight
She swayed me
And I got charmed in the ride
All I know,
I was lying lost
Out of breath
Smiling a dream
I don’t know why

Trip to Pluto & Back

2009-02-17T22:11:00.000-08:00

Jupiter,
Saturn,
Neptune potions,
Venus,
Mars,
The Planetary Motions.

Sun & Moon,
It was all but chosen,
The path I traversed
Was not my notion.

Stars & Struck,
My nights are held
...In each moment.

Sunny Days,
Tulip stars,
Sun-kissed moses,
Where I am..
Is all..
But the magical potions
Of Unknown Sources.

Beauty Surround Sound

2009-02-17T22:06:00.000-08:00

Butterflies,
Rainbows,
Sugar dale dyes,
Polka chinos,
Lemon and Rye,
Strawberry,
Raisins,
My love won't die

Entrancing incense
Lavender blooms
Fumes of jasmine
My soul is alight

Sunflower smiles,
Drums of Heaven
Beauty surrounds me
Filling every ounce of my life.

No Doubt there is a Doubt

2009-02-11T02:44:00.000-08:00

Storms.
Rising above my soul.
Am taken over by a dark cloud.

Doubt. Regrets.
I tell myself
Is not my zone.
Yet there is a lump in my throat.

Anxiety,
Has taken up the course.
My mind keeps traveling
A 100km Marathon.

Need a change of course.
Else, it might lead to discourse.
N thus ruin my soul.

Stop.
Before I plunge into the hole.
Else, I might get engulfed in the havoc.

Circle of Lies

2009-02-08T21:51:00.001-08:00

Lie
And more lies
And then break it away,

Love
And lost
But lie remains,

Lies
And that is all I led
No more,
Do I feel the pain.

Its a circle of betrayal
I indulged in everyday
I led myself
To that day yet again,

Lies,
Betrayal,
Hurt & Pain,

All I have learnt,
It's eventually no gain
Detach myself
To such conceiting ways
Is all I can say!

Flowing Love....

2009-02-08T21:43:00.000-08:00

Hug
Kisses
Lip locked
Am all blushed,

Sweet whispers
Soft breaths
Feather like kisses,
Melting the moment

Heat intact
Am all looking back
Wondering why we are
Where we are at

Our hearts are young
And the spark is alive
We could exchange some energy
And could do with some loving

Hugs
Liplocked
Feather Kisses
Just at the right moment..!

Y we wait when its not required....

2009-02-08T21:36:00.000-08:00

Wait,
And then long wait
And then keep waiting...
It's endless.

Y do v wait
And then wait long
And then keep waiting...

Y do v endlessly,
Make ourselves sick of
Ourselves waiting..

Y are v so strong
Yet so weak in waiting..
Y can't v just move on,
Not wait,
And then never wait again...

Y do v fall in this vicious circle
Of waiting..
Of trying..
Of being strong..

Y can't we just give it a break,
Give it away,
N never look back..

Y do we wait
When the wait is endless
To make us sick of waiting,
Hoping....
And broken...

2009-01-22T03:28:00.000-08:00

Move on man...

Time is trapped,

My life is running slow,

Among the hasty roads,

Tick double tock,

Tick triple tock,

My pace is being blocked.

My path is being tracked,

Can life ever come back?

Am losing its tract.

Show me the sign,

Show me the way,

Let me not disrupt the saint,

Hence lose my sane

And when the track is back

Dont take it away.

2009-01-20T01:06:00.000-08:00

Dont hear me out...!

Am stressed
Am drenched,
In a chaotic bend.
Am lost,
Its like my life is being tossed.

Torn,
Am shocked,
Can someone let me take my stance.

Am stretched like a band
Along the wide open land
Where is the turn I can take?
The one I want to make.

Silence is bliss, until the dogs bark...!

2008-08-13T01:16:00.000-07:00

A regular Walk
The regular Clock
Silence Intact
Thoughts on track

Sundown,
10000 meters across
No destination
No glorification for a comeback

A 1000 thoughts
A 1000 storms
All criss-crossing my path

Reality struck,
My heart wept
The stray dogs felt am lost
Barking, Disrupting my tracks
Making me stumble upon
And comeback

Whats for real
Is like a tight slap
Imagination is running out of hand..!

Impossible is nothing...!

2008-08-05T23:54:00.000-07:00

I've heard that one before...

As I find new ways to vent out my dreams
In the process someone falls into the stream
They tell me u r laying a lot, there's no need
But I wonder where the genesis of the word is...

If dreams weren't dreams
If reality was what dreams were
They wouldn't be dreams

Ever noticed..
Why there is a cloudy thought
...While someone speaks?

A dream is a dream
...One can believe
A means to build a hive
Useless...
If you never found a means to achieve

A dream remains asleep
Until you tap how it can lead
Do something...
Or believe it to behead
Or you'd rather, let yourself bleed..

I have a dream
I'll try until I succeed
And if I can't,
I'll forever believe..
It was for real,
I never believed...

And thus I failed..
..What I believe
And because I never tried...
I'll forever BLEED!

ChaosXDisruption

2008-08-05T12:05:00.000-07:00

Wonder if its me anymore
Disheveled,
Misled,
Unleveled
Chaos seems to be misleading...

Its me,
Undetermined,
Imbalanced,
The swing is taking a sling

Mellow
Bellowed
No, I don't want to be swallowed

Darkness sets in
Disruption stops
Then fatigue creeps in

Lost soul
Found to be unknown
Caused by my own

So while i take another course
While I decide to let go
The change has only but hope

From the past
Just like a blast
And then, am here fighting the last...

In conversation...!

2008-07-24T01:45:00.000-07:00

There is never one reason to be troubled..

I the Chaos...one leads to another..its like displacement

The source could be anything

You wake up in the morning,
Realise the alarm didn't ring,
You got late for work,
You go for a bath,
You realise water is consumed,
So there's none left for you,
You warm the water for coffee,
You forget, the pot breaks,

You just leave unfresh,
On the way to work,
You realize u haven't worn your watch,
You forgot important papers for the meeting,
You go back

You realize you left the keys inside,
You spot some letters outside the door,
They are all for unpaid bills

u stamp ur feet...

Get into a cab

You find there is traffic,

You get even more late,
You call your boss,
Tell him honestly what happened,
He orders u to reach asap...

You try hard,
You cant do anything about it even if u run,
You light a cigarette,
The ash falls on your clothes,
There you've made a hole

So, u see there is no end to it

And this is the genesis of Chaos
And this is the genesis of Beautiful words....

BlacknWhite Chaos!

2008-07-23T12:22:00.000-07:00

The pendulum is ticking
The left side is hemorrhaged
The right side is exploding
What is left, is the swaying

To and fro
To and fro
There's no control
The clock is ticking

Its the biological track
Or the psychological distract
No idea, am just doing the act
Life is sometimes a shit-hole

I tremble, I am shy
I fall, I want to fly
I stumble, I try
I am troubled, I dont know why..

I want to lose it all
But will is too strong
I want to end it all
But there is a desire untold

I am bashed, I am smashed
I am broken, yet I am taken
I am thrashed, I am crushed
I am stolen, yet not heart-broken

It is indeed a strange disease,
Its a bug that creeps under my sleeves
Am dramatic, not psychotic
Am determined, not yet hopeless...

So, I end with some more talking
I know you are around, yet am not stalking
I know you'll be back, my life's meaning
Just dont lose the track, keep on going...!

Friendship is made in heaven(hearts)

2008-07-12T12:56:00.000-07:00

(By heaven I mean our hearts)

Have you ever thought why a relationship ends up in Friendship?
----The statement "we can still be friends"...
Have you ever thought about... "oh my god, what was I thinking, we are better off as friends"

Truth is, when we are in a relationship, we tend to ignore the fact that we were friends first.
We become this extremely authoritative "complaint box", or we are in this hypothetical world of "life in a trance", "life is beautiful now", "we are inseparable", "n omg we are so romantic".
We expect everything to be hunky dory, but it hardly meets our expectations.

Another way to look at it, some friends are for a short while, to fulfill a purpose, to bring a smile, and then, move on. Some disrupt our lives, and some make us experience chaos. Some polish us, some give us strength, some bring changes in us (+ve/-ve), according to that moment's need.

But the ones that stayed on through thick and thin, through storms and chaos, through love and loss, through truth and false, suffer with you, experience the highs and lows with you without complaining, without making you realize that you might be losing it, that you are too old for fun, that anything you do is wrong and is affecting them, letting you talk while they are bored, loving you even when you are long gone, even when you return without a chord, but the smile, the one day you spend venting out your inner core, connects you like you never did discord...

Such is the friendship that sticks on, even when our near and dear fail to be our own...! Such is the friendship that is beyond all. It's like an angel guarding you even when you don't know who you are.

2008-07-10T02:16:00.000-07:00

MANANA's love is distant!....

Disruption's slowly moving away
Its time to get to rescue act
Loads of people to meet
Truckloads of information to share
Disruption is moving away
As ppl r taking d place instead
Its time to move on
But then again "fun" is not my God

The 'Godliness' in me needs some "fun"
But the 'Soul' within me needs to get a hold
I wonder then what does my heart want
Fun.Disruption.Chaos.Love or just plain simple turmoil.

My mind says "I want" "I want"
My soul says "hang on" "hang on"
Dont let d drama queen get out
Wait for it to happen on its own
It will come back
With it the reason will come back
The purpose is to take a step back
While Chaos explores itself backwards

So Disruption, while you take a step back
I struggle to get you back
I need you back
To make myself Comeback
Manana is Chaotic, but without you only Disruptive!
(In a Destructive )

Suppressed Chaos!

2008-07-10T02:11:00.000-07:00

Just the wrong kind of day...

Have you ever woken up and felt like something might be really wrong with your life?
Well it happened to me recently.
A dream (nightmare), am still confused,

1)I never dream,
I am thoughtless usually because there is so much always on my head.
The thinking stops when am asleep
But this time...
Something seemed very very wrong

2)I felt like I was in the wrong houseY?
Because my home is somewhere else
I thought I never belonged to a particular home
But this time...Something seemed very out of place

3) Morning chocolates made me sick
My cookies tasted Sugarfree
My chocolate drink tasted pungent
I crave for chocolates all the time
But this time...Something seemed very bitter

I get to work
My hair looks undone
My regular wear attire that usually looks great, looked misfit
The smile on my face seemed force
I am a workaholic
But this time...Something seemed to control me

My innermost core was always strong
I could withstand all unfairness
I could control my emotions
I was a tough nut to crack
But this time...Something made me not myself

Evening arrives
I am switched off after one whole year
Parties seem boring
Dinner with friends a drag
Homesickness sets inI am outgoing...
But this time
Something was out of elements

I loved chaos
I like the chaotic nature of my mind
Having too much to think ticked me off
It kept me going
My imagination never ran dry
But this time...
Something was just not meant to be

I always felt wanted
I felt like I had a sense of purpose in this Disruption
But again this time...

I am lost
I am confused
I am out of myself
Out of my boots
I am beginning to get bored
Which is not me
I want to have loads to think
I want to have loads to enjoy
But there is a bug that has caught me
The bug of Distress
Disruption which is leading to a chaos that can even put my life at a full stop.

Where is the saviour in me
Where is the solace I find in Disruption
This world is beginning to get to me
And I am heading to a complete fix
A complete breakdown
I want a reason to Disrupt once more
I want a reason to be Chaotic twice more than I already had
Wheres the kick I get?
June 20, 2008 3:22 AM

Chaos Uncovered

2008-07-10T02:09:00.000-07:00

Is it the chaos of my mind

Or the confusion of my paradise

Is it the mind that needs to get a hold

Or is it my life that needs to reflect whats the soul

I call upon the depths

To unfold what is there within

Dont suppress the inner core

Reveal the mind, and disrupt some more!

2008-07-10T02:07:00.000-07:00

Disruptive Chaos@Rains!

When the Weather "Gods" become unstable...

There is no reason,
There is no season,
They alternate between poise and disruption,
Destruction and control
Yet so beautiful,
Yet so unique
To many, it may seem dull
To many, it may reflect
Complete hopelessness and darkness
But the beauty of the "heavenly" love is evident in this chaos!
It has no certain pace,
No certain race,
Yet the uncertainty with which it controls human mortals
Is the uncertainty the humam mortal goes within its head
A thousand storms
A thousand songs
A thousand moments
A thousand memories, so strong
All captured within a snapshot!
The splash,
the fall
The smash,
the sundrop
The dash,
the dewdrop
Droplets of love potion
In an unstable motion
Disruptive beauty all across!

2008-07-10T02:02:00.001-07:00

Relationships+Chaos (-ve/+ve)

When happiness starts depending on someone else..
You've entered the world of Destructive Chaos...
Whether its negative or positive is the way you want to look at it
If you feel life is sad because that one person you care about doesnt seem to respond in the same way
Sorry you got your hopes too high
This Chaos happened because you called for it
You are becoming too dependentY
our life seems to revolve around Chaos!
Sadness,Depression,Dry smiles,low morale, unending longing...
results in a permanent haze
You seem to recognise yourself less n less by the day
Becoz you dont have just that one person you need most
And you end up abusing yourself in unknowing ways
But hello honey, life is nt as cliched as the saying "life is nt a bed of roses"
But look at this from the +ve side...
Let that person be a source of added happiness (which means you are happy with/out but that person gives you just another reason to smile)
That my friend is a beautiful relationship which would then lead to +ve chaos,
Disruptive chaos but the result would be a breakthrough
Be happy with/outAs a child you were happy playing whether there was any1 to play with or not
But yes friends gave you smile
Taught you that Communication is an art
A reason to realise that 2+2 and then 2+2 again leads to Chaos
Which meant more excitement
More ideas to indulge in Play
So, why ladies n gentlemen,
Love a person if it hurts
Love a person regardless of what you would get in return
Love just because you wont to love
But dont make it a reason to hurt

MANANA says it can mean anything
OR mean nothing at all
But always LIVE FOR YOURSELF first!

Disruption@Chaos

2008-05-27T00:27:00.000-07:00

My mind’s chaotic...
And there is no connection between what my thoughts are
Yes I think one's mind should be chaotic
Because chaos leads to ideas & I can’t stand boredom
Ideas that are chaotic are exciting, it’s a vicious circle

And because they r confusing they are exciting
For example, if I didn’t confuse you jus nw u probably wudnt hv been so curious
i dnt believe in middle ways
i believe in swinging..but nt stopping
but chaos doesnt mean porn
mind dat is chaotic is a mind that observes, perceives & tries to analize behavior
but while dng dat d poor soul forgets one's own behavior n clarity
wich leads to chaos
chaos is sumthin of the power of infinite...there is no explanation
infinite is endless, and so is chaos
chaos can neva be in absolute terms

no chance of an orderly universe then
nopes...its disruption!
as in is there any point to all that non stop disruption?
it sumtimes takes up a role of an objective by chance
random permutations n combinations

so everything is random,
everything is chaotic
and this leads to great ideas
Certainly!

And which prove to be disruptive
True but dats wat its meant to do
disrupt everythin around
its exactly hw a volcano behaves

Chaos doesnt believe in certainty
so hw can it lead to destiny
if u follow Destiny u cant apply free will
so i stick to my stance...!

God is hypothetical
ppl hv attached certain attributes to it...n called it GOD
where as in practice, ppl try to attain Godliness
it has no meaning
yet is very meaningful
coz it means sumthin dat doesn exist
thr is no end
devil or genius all resides within...
they all r hypothetical

Yes therefore, my purpose by chance is to disrupt everythin aroun me
disruption has no end
thr is always scope fr more

Thankyou and am pleased to hear dat
d fact dat ppl r still pleased to meet me
Manana, the world of chaos
& I dnt allow ppl to get high on my words
i get judged every single day
but manana continuous

So, what's the energy source of manana
loads of black coffee,..n cigarettes,,,with no count of chocolates
as simple as it can get, at the ethereal, or the psychic, or the subtle
Just an inner drive to disrupt

What fuels it
is it internal
its the meandering lost souls aroun;
dats the stimulator

So another way of describing me, would be the Minister in Charge, of the Pleasure/Pain balance
i dnt knw wat hurts me or wat pleases me
dat in another words is LIFE
d balance has to be, lose its balance

A disruptive mind wud hv a big smile n say...he tried to get thr but lost track of it
an endless mind only seeks to confuse, to alter things n to contradict itself over n over again
so d crux of it is never completely thr
it will never let u fig out..
becoz it doesnt knw itself
all it knws is DISRUPT, CHAOS n seek MANANA
its disruptive
it doesnt mind sum more of it